Grit is something you learn not something that you inherently have. Many people seem to have lost that trait or assumed that it would just happen for them. I want to inspire grit in my boys. I want them to have perseverance when things get tough. I want them to have the same never give up ideals that I developed when I was younger.
It’s easy in a world where everything is on demand, to breed into our children an idea that the world is at their fingertips and without much effort. Music, television, video games, all position them to think that whatever they want is just a few buttons press away.
When I was five years old, I watched the older neighborhood kids, zoom around the streets of the base on their shiny bikes. Some, sensing my desire to have the same freedom, would taunt me by skidding to a stop, sliding their back tire, and spraying dust in my face.
Living on base, there was a constant barrage of people moving in and out, which provided to a young man a constant treasure trove of discarded personal items on the curb. On one such occasion, having been filled with the envy of all the older kids, I spotted a rusted bicycle that was just my size.
The wheels were the hard solid rubber, that appeared from the years of neglect to be cracked like the hot desert sand. There literally was not a spec of paint on the thing but I didn’t mind the weathered patina that scarred its curves.
The pedals worked, the reflectors cracked but still there, and armed with a banana seat, my new mini motorcycle was heaven on two wheels. There was just one problem, there were no training wheels, my father was working an ungodly number of hours and my mother was trying to manage my siblings, the house, and catch up on her soaps.
I sat on the edge of the curb with freedom a few pedal strokes away. I watched the older boys fly up and down the street in races from the stop sign to the corner of the cross street. I observed the way they would start, pushing their bodies in tandem with the bike, then jumping up on the pedals and then pushing with all their might to get it started up the slight incline.
I noted the dangers as Tom Hernandez fell scrapping his knee and losing skin on his ankle from the spokes where the chain used to be. I hung over his shoulder as he pressed the chain over the back edge of the gear and ran the pedals forward. The chain snapped back on the gear and Tommy startled, pushed me over, hopped on and took off.
Tommy was the fastest in the neighborhood, and many a boy tried to knock him off the podium. Many
would try but all would fail. We all looked up to him, all hated and envied him at the same time.
My rusty chariot was waiting. My father came out and sat next to me on the curb and asked, “You want me to teach you how to ride that Hot Shot?” I declined.
Over the next several days I climbed onto rusty red, I fell from rusty red, and climbed back on. I didn’t ask for, nor did I want, assistance from anyone. This was something I must do on my own.
As my mother and father recall the story, there were several times I fell and lay staring at the sky in frustration. I never gave up entirely though. While those few moments struck at the core of my determination, they never overtook me.
Through perseverance, and grit, I continued through scored and torn skin. Failure after failure until that moment when I no longer failed. The pedals moved under me, the tires pulled me forward the spots of white in the asphalt road became streaks, and the wind pushed against my face.
I pushed through and gained control over dusty red and gained a new sense of adventure and freedom. I would join the group challenging Tommy Hernandez and the others.
On one occasion, being a good great guy but also not wanting to lose face, when no one else was around Tommy let me win a race. It was the only time I beat him and in retrospect I see that it was a mercy loss on his part. That win though, even if no one else saw it provided validation to all the scars my ankles had from the multiple failures.
We never know what we can accomplish until the moment we try and cease failing, but we will never reach that moment if we don’t try, sometimes a thousand times first.
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